Why is mental health important?
People in India still openly don’t say that they visit
a counsellor. They don’t understand that if it’s important to visit a doctor
when someone has a physical problem, it is the same with the mind. Mental
health is equally important.
I had a nature of counselling people when they felt low and loved to bring a smile on people’s faces. Naturally, I had the knack of reading articles on parenting and other counselling topics. While working for a newspaper, I decided to do a course on counselling. I used to attend classes on weekends and later interned in a hospital set-up in my 30s with very young girls.
When my family and friends came to know about it, they
would confide in me with their problems as they felt comfortable talking to me.
They would compliment me often after I counselled them. So one day, I decided
to give an ad in a local newspaper and started counselling people on weekends
as on other days, I had the journalism job.
I started getting calls. But often, the queries were strange, “What type of counselling do you do?” “From where have you done the course?” “What procedure you follow?” “What is counselling?” “What does a counsellor actually do?” “Can you counsel me on phone?”
Once a lady even requested me that she would send me the fees but I should counsel her on the phone. Though I tried to convince her that face-to-face counselling is always better but she insisted. So I agreed to counsel her over the phone. But she didn’t turn up nor did she call. That’s the problem. Sometimes people make up their mind to talk to a counsellor and then they take a step back.
One of my relatives from a different city often used
to call me as she felt better talking to me, sometimes for hours. I advised
that she should visit a local counsellor as I knew she was lonely and had some
past issues. She replied, “I am not mad, why I would visit a counsellor?”
I still smile remembering a man who addressed me
doctor while fixing the appointment and throughout the session though I kept on
telling him that “I am a counsellor”.
One day, a young girl came to me. She felt so good
talking to me that after reaching downstairs, her father (who came to pick her
up) called me to say that she wanted to talk more. I advised them to come after
seven days as talking again the same day wouldn’t have helped much. They never returned.
Once a housewife came to me for counselling, and after
her session I advised her to bring her husband in her next session. Sometimes
family counselling is important to better heal the person. But she said, “No,
that’s not possible.” Instead she asked me if I could teach her to speak
English. I said yes so that at least she should turn up for the next session,
at least to learn English. But she never came. I even called her as I really
wanted to bring her confidence back. But she never responded.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwTZirredJupZZs65UfnmJg/videos
Child counselling is difficult as they don’t open up
so easily. I remember once a mother coming to me with her son, who was around 12 years old. The
mother requested that she would be present during the session. Though I wanted
to talk to the child alone, sometimes mothers won’t understand, and they feel
insecure too to leave the child alone. The moment the child started confiding in
me, the mother started interfering in between and gave her own advice. One of
the questions I asked the child was, “Do you somehow feel your mom loves your
younger sister a little more than you?” The child just moved his head in
affirmation. His mother immediately asked, “Don’t I love you?” The child became
quiet again. That session was of not much help because of the mother. I
requested her to bring the child after seven days and said I would talk to the
child alone for some time. But they never turned up.
Some came with genuine problems. And returned for
multiple sessions, and felt better too. In some cases, when I felt that only
counselling won’t help, I would refer them to psychiatrists as they would need
medicines to heal.
The problem was that one fine day they felt, ‘okay let’s
visit a counsellor and meet her for a day and everything would be fine’. It was
difficult to make them understand that day one was only history-taking and
introductory session. Most of them didn’t turn up for the next session.
In an hour-long session, they would continue talking
even after the time limit. Then I started putting an alarm to make them aware
that the day’s session was over. But that would rarely help. Often my one hour’s
session would extend to one-and-half hours.
Fee was another issue. I started with Rs 300 for an
hour-long session (that was long time back). One day, an old lady came with her son who was addicted to
some medicine and was drowsy throughout the session. That lady requested me to
take Rs 200 and I obliged. I advised her that her son would need
hospitalisation to heal completely. I suggested a few names where she can call
and admit her son. But she never called me to inform about the developments
of her son.
A young boy came to me for counselling and forgot to
bring his wallet. And he remembered that after the session was over. I never
asked for my fee before the sessions. That day, I felt like laughing at myself.
One of my friends knew his mother and so she transferred my fee online. I still
don’t ask for fee before the session, lesson not learnt.
What did I learn as a
counsellor? I became a good listener, I became empathetic, I don’t judge people
and I became more forgiving.
People in India still openly don’t say that they visit
a counsellor. They don’t understand that if it’s important to visit a doctor
when someone has a physical problem, it is the same with the mind. Mental
health is equally important.
Mental health and physical health are connected.
Mental health plays an important role in maintaining good physical health. Often,
mental issues such as depression and anxiety, affect people's capacity to maintain
health-promoting behaviours.
When mental illness is left untreated, it can cause major
emotional, behavioural and physical health issues. Sometimes they lead to unhappiness
and decreased enjoyment of life and even family conflicts.
Now with the pandemic
taking the world in its grip, mental health is a big concern with people mostly
indoors. With everything going digital, even counselling sessions are being
taken online. The need is only for people to understand that if they feel
something is bothering their minds all the time, they should not shy away from
talking to a counsellor.
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