Lost your job?

 This is not the end. This is just another beginning

The years 2020 and 2021 have taught us how a small virus can turn life upside down. People have lost their jobs; there have been salary cuts and business losses, and what not. People are feeling low and don’t know what to do, mostly contained in their homes. I will say, don’t give up.

No storm can last forever. Like every dark night is followed by a beautiful day, this too shall pass. Like every coin has two sides, this phase also has two sides. The most important thing is we are alive. Life is precious and there can be nothing important than that.

Work from home has become the norm. A lot of people are working from home. Yes, working from home has its own pressure.  But what is important is you are with your family. All these while you have been complaining that you don’t get time to spend with your family because of your hectic schedule. So the virus has given you that opportunity. Utilise it and spend quality time with your family.

If, unfortunately, you have lost your job, never think that this is the end. Maybe life is opening another door for you.

Spend your money rationally till you get your next job. Try to connect with your old network. Who knows something better is waiting for you.

There are lot of short-term online professional courses; look for one that will add another skill in your resume and will open more opportunities for you.

If you have ever dreamt of starting something of your own, and if you have enough savings, then this is the time to give it a try — your very own venture.  Sometimes taking a risk is worth it. If you are successful, you can be a source of employment to more people and get blessings in return. If not, you will definitely learn a lot from the experience. Most successful people in the world have taken risks, learnt from their failures, and today their failures have become stories behind their success for other people to learn from.

Look at your children, you will know how to be happy without any reason. Observe how when they are bored, how creatively they create a new game for themselves. Play with them, talk with them, try to look at the world from their perspective. Yes, you will know that not only children are fast learners, they are great teachers too.

Things will be like before again, till then, hold on with patience, be positive. Don’t forget to follow me on my blog --Mixed Bag-- for more such write-ups. You can also subscribe to my YouTube channel -- ThinkPositive Make a Difference in Life, or follow me on Facebook -- ThinkPositive Make a Difference in Life. You can write to me in the comment section.  

 

How to keep your sanity intact during Covid

 

Mental Health Matters

As we are fighting the second wave of the deadly corona virus pandemic, mental health has become an issue all over. How to maintain our sanity is a big question

Those who are safe at home should feel blessed that at least we are sleeping in our homes and not in a hospital. Spend quality time with your family in between work. Play some indoor games such as carom, ludo, chess and play antakshri. Let kids know about these games too. If you have an independent house or have some space on the terrace, you can play outdoor games too. This is the best thing Covid has given us, family time.

Many are constantly working for office from home and doing household chores at the same time. Most of us are working without helpers or maids. All family members should come forward to help each other in managing the chores, so that the woman of the house is not burdened with all the work. The lady of the house should also get some free time in between office and house work. And if the woman is a homemaker, she should not be taken for granted that all household work is her duty. Instead tell her that you always are on your toes, so now start sharing your load with us and see the million dollar smile on her face.

Make a garden of your own in your balcony or terrace. You just have to collect seeds from the kitchen and plant them. There are ample details on the internet on how to grow them. And once the first sapling starts growing, you will experience what is called real joy.

If you have never entered the kitchen, try that. It’s said that cooking is a great stress buster. To say, “I can cook” is much cooler than saying, “Sorry I can’t cook”. Or you can start from baking. Baking a cake is literally a cake walk. And the first cake that you will bake will be the most memorable one and the tastiest too.

Try to connect with old friends; nowadays social media has made it very easy. Try to find all childhood friends and call them, talk with them about all your childhood mischiefs and get nostalgic. Video-call them, see how they look now and pull each other’s legs. Friends are life’s best gift to us. 

Music is another magic that you can explore. Listen to all types of music, sing along and dance even if you have two left feet.

If you had a hidden wish to learn some musical instrument, but could never fulfil it, this is the time to do that. There are lot of weekend classes available online. In the next get-together, you can proudly show off your new skill.

If you have a knack of writing but never got time to do that, then start now. Start with writing your feelings in a diary; gradually you can even start your own blog.

Ladies, if you like the way celebrities look you can learn how to do make-up on internet and when things will be back to normal, you can surprise your friends, colleagues, neighbours by getting ready like a pro. 

Who knows one day your newly explored hobby can turn into your profession. And when your hobby becomes your profession, life becomes beautiful.

 

Be positive. Don’t forget to follow me on my blog --MixedBag-- for more such write-ups. You can also subscribe to my YouTube channel -- Think Positive Make a Difference in Life, or follow me on Facebook -- Think Positive Make a Difference in Life. You can write to me in the comment section.  

 

I am not mad, why would I visit a counsellor?

Why is mental health important?

People in India still openly don’t say that they visit a counsellor. They don’t understand that if it’s important to visit a doctor when someone has a physical problem, it is the same with the mind. Mental health is equally important. 

I had a nature of counselling people when they felt low and loved to bring a smile on people’s faces. Naturally, I had the knack of reading articles on parenting and other counselling topics. While working for a newspaper, I decided to do a course on counselling. I used to attend classes on weekends and later interned in a hospital set-up in my 30s with very young girls.

When my family and friends came to know about it, they would confide in me with their problems as they felt comfortable talking to me. They would compliment me often after I counselled them. So one day, I decided to give an ad in a local newspaper and started counselling people on weekends as on other days, I had the journalism job.

I started getting calls. But often, the queries were strange, “What type of counselling do you do?”  “From where have you done the course?” “What procedure you follow?” “What is counselling?” “What does a counsellor actually do?” “Can you counsel me on phone?”

Once a lady even requested me that she would send me the fees but I should counsel her on the phone. Though I tried to convince her that face-to-face counselling is always better but she insisted. So I agreed to counsel her over the phone. But she didn’t turn up nor did she call. That’s the problem. Sometimes people make up their mind to talk to a counsellor and then they take a step back.

One of my relatives from a different city often used to call me as she felt better talking to me, sometimes for hours. I advised that she should visit a local counsellor as I knew she was lonely and had some past issues. She replied, “I am not mad, why I would visit a counsellor?”

I still smile remembering a man who addressed me doctor while fixing the appointment and throughout the session though I kept on telling him that “I am a counsellor”.

One day, a young girl came to me. She felt so good talking to me that after reaching downstairs, her father (who came to pick her up) called me to say that she wanted to talk more. I advised them to come after seven days as talking again the same day wouldn’t have helped much. They never returned. 

Once a housewife came to me for counselling, and after her session I advised her to bring her husband in her next session. Sometimes family counselling is important to better heal the person. But she said, “No, that’s not possible.” Instead she asked me if I could teach her to speak English. I said yes so that at least she should turn up for the next session, at least to learn English. But she never came. I even called her as I really wanted to bring her confidence back. But she never responded.  

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwTZirredJupZZs65UfnmJg/videos

Child counselling is difficult as they don’t open up so easily. I remember once a mother coming to me with her son, who was around 12 years old. The mother requested that she would be present during the session. Though I wanted to talk to the child alone, sometimes mothers won’t understand, and they feel insecure too to leave the child alone. The moment the child started confiding in me, the mother started interfering in between and gave her own advice. One of the questions I asked the child was, “Do you somehow feel your mom loves your younger sister a little more than you?” The child just moved his head in affirmation. His mother immediately asked, “Don’t I love you?” The child became quiet again. That session was of not much help because of the mother. I requested her to bring the child after seven days and said I would talk to the child alone for some time. But they never turned up.

Some came with genuine problems. And returned for multiple sessions, and felt better too. In some cases, when I felt that only counselling won’t help, I would refer them to psychiatrists as they would need medicines to heal.

The problem was that one fine day they felt, ‘okay let’s visit a counsellor and meet her for a day and everything would be fine’. It was difficult to make them understand that day one was only history-taking and introductory session. Most of them didn’t turn up for the next session.

In an hour-long session, they would continue talking even after the time limit. Then I started putting an alarm to make them aware that the day’s session was over. But that would rarely help. Often my one hour’s session would extend to one-and-half hours.

Fee was another issue. I started with Rs 300 for an hour-long session (that was long time back). One day, an old lady came with her son who was addicted to some medicine and was drowsy throughout the session. That lady requested me to take Rs 200 and I obliged. I advised her that her son would need hospitalisation to heal completely. I suggested a few names where she can call and admit her son. But she never called me to inform about the developments of her son.

A young boy came to me for counselling and forgot to bring his wallet. And he remembered that after the session was over. I never asked for my fee before the sessions. That day, I felt like laughing at myself. One of my friends knew his mother and so she transferred my fee online. I still don’t ask for fee before the session, lesson not learnt.

What did I learn as a counsellor? I became a good listener, I became empathetic, I don’t judge people and I became more forgiving. 

People in India still openly don’t say that they visit a counsellor. They don’t understand that if it’s important to visit a doctor when someone has a physical problem, it is the same with the mind. Mental health is equally important.

Mental health and physical health are connected. Mental health plays an important role in maintaining good physical health. Often, mental issues such as depression and anxiety, affect people's capacity to maintain health-promoting behaviours.

When mental illness is left untreated, it can cause major emotional, behavioural and physical health issues. Sometimes they lead to unhappiness and decreased enjoyment of life and even family conflicts.

Now with the pandemic taking the world in its grip, mental health is a big concern with people mostly indoors. With everything going digital, even counselling sessions are being taken online. The need is only for people to understand that if they feel something is bothering their minds all the time, they should not shy away from talking to a counsellor.

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A different kind of Durga Puja in 2020, all thanks to Corona

Published in Best Media Info

A different kind of Durga Puja in 2020, all thanks to Corona

The pandemic has forced most of us to remain indoors and limit the festivities, but no virus has the ability to dampen a Bengali’s Durga Puja spirit. So what if there are a few pandals? A Bengali can celebrate Durga Puja from anywhere —  even from homes!

  https://bestmediainfo.com/2020/10/a-different-kind-of-durga-puja-in-2020-all-thanks-to-corona/

Kakoli Thakur | Delhi | October 22, 2020

Durga Puja is an emotion for a Bengali which only a Bengali can understand. But this year, an invisible virus has entered our lives, forcing us to adjust to a new way of life — ‘the new normal’ of maintaining social distance and wearing masks.

So what are we missing out this year?

To start with, puja shopping starts a month ago or even more for some. This time as it was not safe to visit crowded markets, most of the shopping was done online; at least the sensible ones did so. So we already missed the craze of puja crowds in markets, trying out dozens of clothes in trial rooms. Though some disturbing pictures are doing the rounds where people are seen crowding markets for last-minute puja shopping even amid the corona threat.

Before puja days, we all ask each other “kota holo”, (how many dresses this year?) and fashion is one of the main topics of discussion. This year we can’t do that in our puja pandal but we can always video call our friends and relatives and show off our new dresses.

We will miss eating bhog, especially khichuri-labra in community pandals. Yes we can make it at home but we will miss for sure that taste and the wonderful community feeling.

The late risers will miss the Ashtami puspanjali as in most pandals, only limited people will be allowed, so first-come, first-served basis will apply mostly. So the late comers, this year you don’t have the chance to request the purohit (again and again) to do another round of puspanjali!

Witnessing and experiencing puja rituals sitting in front of Ma Durga give us goose bumps. This year, most pandals will live stream those moments. So at least something is better than nothing, the perks of having internet.

Puja evenings mean eating out and having all kinds of food — rolls, biryani, chop, cutlet and what not. This year, there are no food stalls in pandals. But you can always put on your chef’s hat and fulfil those food cravings.

Cultural programmes are a major attraction during puja, staying at the pandal till the wee hours and indulging in a lot of adda (chit-chat). This year due to restrictions, we have to behave like early birds. But nobody can stop us from playing antakshri at home and dance to the dhak beats, chanting “Durga Mai Ki Jai”.

Pandal hopping will take a backseat as it’s no use traveling the whole city to each and every pandal as most won’t allow any sort of crowds. But at night, you can try to visit one or two nearby pandals and have Ma’s darshan.

Wearing mask is compulsory, so a no make-up look will also do. Especially, lipstick would be of no use. So ladies, don’t dig a hole in your pocket on make-up. But I am sure as it is Puja time, most of you will put full make-up, even below the mask.

Kola kuli (hugging each other) on Dashami gives us a warm feeling after bidding an emotional adieu to Ma Durga. This year we have to say Shubho Bijoya only with a nomoskar. But we will definitely say “Ashche bochor abar hobe” (Ma Durga will visit us next year as well), with the hope that everything will be back to normal in the next Puja and we Bengalies will again go crazy, asking “Pujor koto din baki re” (How many days left for Puja) — months before the actual date.

 

A different kind of Durga Puja in 2020, all thanks to Corona